i feel grateful for everything happens in my life
i feel grateful for family that God sent me to
i feel grateful for everyone that i've met, friend or foe
i feel grateful for every problem i face
i feel grateful for every heartbroken that i felt
i feel grateful for every love i've shared with
i feel grateful for MOM that God had give to me.

baby: "God please tell me which angel that will be my guardian when i finally come down to earth?"
God: "you will simply call her MOM."

actually i've wanted to write this post for so long, but with this and that i couldnt make it happen. and now, today, something's happen. and mom shared some advices again to me and my big brother.from every words i heard from my mom's mouth, all i hear is always about how she feels so much blessed with everything in this world, in her life. i cant even imagine if i was in her position, facing all this problem, maybe facing 'me' is frustrating enough but her problem is not only me. she has so much -too much i guess- problem as a woman, as a housewife, as a breadwinner, and as a mother for 4 of us.

so this thought pop up in my mind, will i ever survive if i dont have mom?
i came to some funereal lately, -and yes, it's not a good news, at all- some of my friend lost their dad, grandpa, grandma. and once i put myself in their position. i hurts me so bad. i cant even imagine live in this world without mom. she is everything to me. someone i can lean on no matter how often we arguing. and i said this to myself. 'no, i dont wanna lose mom when i still live, somehow it feels so much better if i leave first so that i dont have to face all that sadness alone.'
i know maybe it sounds selfish, and maybe i seems like a person that too afraid to face the reality. but no i cant, i cant live without mom. she's my life.

God, please give my mom long life, health, patience to face all her problem. and lead me on Your way so i can be a daughter that my mom can be proud with, and a daughter that she always can count on. amen