one word that i love and i hate. i need my time to be alone sometimes and i love to spent my time alone in my room whenever i'm at home.

but this word would be the condition i hate the most when it comes to the term where i'm the one that left behind. alone.

so my lil sist has grown up. -well yes she is. she's 23 years old this year- and she got a man. a serious one. i'm so happy for her. so happy. but then i feel the emptyness when it comes the time she spent almost every weekend go with this man. and almost everytime when we spent this tea time with mom at home i found her bbm-ing, like non stop. it's just like God wants me and mom prepared ourselves to set my lil sister free and has her own life soon.

and yes, it's the sad part here.

*oh shit i almost shed a tear when i wrote this.*

but however, i'm so happy for her. find her right one. get the permission. and i know she will have a happily ever after life.

and mom doesn't help at all when she always said that i will find mine too whenever we talk about my sister. i know mom. just don't make it as a big deal. i'm doing fine here. it's not like i have to have a boyfriend too when my sister does.

and please stop making it worse by remind me that almost all my friends are getting married or engaged this year. don't put that face everytime i told you a happy story about my friends that getting married and engaged.

because somehow it hurts me more. to realize that i'm THAT alone.