So yeah, i do the sewing again. I really miss the feel i felt everytime i draw the pattern, cut the fabric, and finally sew the dress.
And what really exciting me more is i sew my bridesmaid dress for my best friend's wedding day.
Time does fly. And i never thought it would be this fast.
I still remember when we still wearing our highschool uniform and make fun of who will be the first to get married between the five of us. And now it really happens. It's just so funny for me. We really did get old. Hahaha.
Well i will post the pic of the dresses later. I have to sew now.. Byee..

I just feel the hole right in my chest since you gone. I feel empty.

F* pms.

First of all, i feel really sorry about my previous post. I've shouldn't wrote that about mom. I am so sorry mom.

It's finally over and done between me and R. Don't ask me why, beacuse i really don't know all the reasons and i really don't wanna know why this must end. To be honest, yes i really sad. Well, who doesn't? Lose the one you start to fell in love with. But at the end of the day, this is what i really want. No, not want to end this relationship, but to have our own happiness.
This is what i want. Since we've been together for about 2weeks i already know that this has to be ended. Since i found out that he really careless and i'm too afraid to talk about this with him. I talked to some friends and they said, 'come one why dont you give this relationship a try? It's only 2weeks! Rome doesnt built in a day..'
Well this is not Rome anyway. This is my relationship. A man that i choose -and it's a wrong choice anyway- to live with me for the rest of my life. I didn't mind about how careless he was or how lazy he was to meet me at the weekend. I thought that i should understand how tired he is when he has to drive in the saturday's traffic jam every week. We met every wednesday and i thought it was enough. I have to understand him and not complaining. We did the whatsapp everyday and i have to satisfied with that eventhough there's no phone call everyday because he said the bill would be too expensive. I do fine with all of that. I really do fine and i swear i never complain. This is the first time i wrote and tell this.
And i did, i give this relationship another chance. But i dont really see the change. Well it changed, into a worse way. And i stand there, confused. He stand in front of me but i cant see him. I cant see where we going. And i know this has to be ended. But my ego said, 'another chance maybe?' and i let my ego take control until that day when we dont say anything and do nothing when we met. And that is so wrong. So i told him, 'i dont think we should do this anymore when you dont really want to be in thia relationship.' No answer. And he said 'we'll see.' And the day after i thought it's enough.
I don't know why he said 'we can't work this relationship anymore.' Do we actually really work for this in the first place? I dont think so.
What still there in my head is only, is this because the motorcycle thing?
If it so, how could he do that?
I read it somewhere, 'if the shoe doesn't fit, must we changed the foot?' and i know we can't. And I can't.
But it doesn't matter anymore. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be.
I know he's not lucky enough to have me as his girlfriend, or more, his wife. And i'm so lucky that God really loves me for He make this relationship end right before i really fell for him.
Thanks anyway R for those good 2months of laughter. I really thanks to you, even if i didn't say that to you, i know you know i really thank you.